Over the last week or so, the house looks to have been spreading through England (what’s the rest of the Empire doing, I ask you). Anyway, it is to these readers that I throw this post. Why? Because I want an explanation. Allow me to do the initial explaining.

A couple of days ago I was reading the paper over a relaxing lunch when I noticed an article screaming ‘Dozens injured as cheese roll goes crackers’. What?!? Upon reading further I got to this:

“Of the 25 people hurt, 12 were spectators, one of whom was hit by one of the hard, 4kg, dinner-plate-sized cheeses used in each race, but only two people were taken to hospital for further assessment.”

I ask you, who chases a 4kg cheese down a hill? Haven’t these people heard of golf? What about internet porn? So I wondered whether this was a one-off and the Daydreamer was kind enough to point out this sort of thing has been going on for some time. How long? Well, as it turns out, this sort of thing has a history and a long one at that. Doctor Danger even has a little section of helpful hints for prospective competitors. There’s still one thing that bothers me: why the hell would anyone do this? Surely alochol has to be invovled. Nobody would do this if they were sober, right?

To our English readers I throw this question: WHY????????

Please note, I use the culture tag with great reservation