To continue with Oz’s current theme of stupidity in the world comes the latest news from the US Patent Office. Now, this is not a piss take… but a legitimate patent that was applied for… AND approved! Very proudly presenting… the Cordless Jump Rope! Hey! Stop laughing. This is some serious inventing that has taken place here. Who am I kidding… I can barely type properly I’m laughing that much!

“To use the invention, a user holds a handle in each hand, and begins to simulate jumping rope while moving the handles in a circle with their hands and arms. The weighted ball or gear simulates the centrifugal action of a jump rope, thus delivering all the health benefits of jumping rope without any of the disadvantages of stumbling on the rope, having the rope hit the ceiling or the like.”

The cordless jump rope was invented by Lester Clancy, a resident of Mansfield in Ohio. Lester said the idea had been kicking around in his head since 1988. (My God… I wish I was making this up…). Clancy told the Washington post that the rope was perfect for the clumsy because “you just don’t have to worry about tripping on the rope”. It is also good for mental institutions and prisons where rope is a suicide risk, said Clancy, who works as a laundry coordinator in a state prison. And low ceiling fans aren’t a hazard any more, he said. Hmmm… use this one in public and you may end up in a mental institution! And just in case you’re wondering… the patent was issued May 02nd, 2006: Patent Number 7037243.

This one came via Pete McEntegart’s 10 Spot at Sports Illustrated and the Washington Post. Read the Post article here.

For more crazy inventions, check out Patently Silly. Their review of the cordless jump rope can be found here.