There’s nothing more that us busy little bees like other than to go out for brekky on the weekend. That leisurely feeling that you don’t have to be anywhere, have no work to do and if you really want to, you can drink alcohol before midday without looking like a derelict. I realise this will be more of a Melbourne thing but hopefully, if any of our readers decide they have to visit Melbourne, this weekly guide will prove indespensible to those of you who savour a lazy brekky just like we do. And so here it is, the very first (cue dramatic music) Beezhouse Brekky Review.

Rathdowne Street Food Store
617 Rathdowne St, North Carlton

So I had a late night playing poker with the boys on last night. It’s so frustrating trying to play a serious game with people who are drunk and choose to play out of turn (posting blinds, calling in turn, shuffling cards properly and promptly). Rolling out of bed at 10:30am Sunday morning, I needed a recharge. I also wanted to explore areas of Melbourne I rarely visit. Rathdowne street is one such area. Mostly I use this street as a short cut to get home whilst avoiding the traffic of surrounding major roads. A quick phonecall to the Daydreamer and it was agreed we should meet at the Food Store (as it shall be known in this post).
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It is a derogatory joke that is often thrown the way of Melburnians… that we are Mexicans. Living south of the border… south of New South Wales (and Sydney) for non-Australians who may not get the cultural reference. Well the joke is on the Sydney-siders!

A Melbourne restaurant has outclassed 10 Sydney contenders to win one of the nation’s most coveted restaurant industry awards. Vue de monde, the deluxe city establishment owned by high-profile young chef Shannon Bennett, was last night anointed Australian Gourmet Traveller 2007 Restaurant of the Year for the second consecutive year, the first restaurant to do so in the 17-year history of the awards.

As for the culinary scene in Sydney, it’s response is to send some pony-tailed dick down to Melbourne to open a restaurant at Crown. Crown Casino! It tells you the market that he’s going after, but then again, what would you expect from somebody used to serving the fair citizens of Sydney. Anybody who has had the misfortune of being served “a coffee” in Sydney knows what I’m talking about.

Once again Sydney has shown that it has no style and no substance… lot’s of pretty lights to distract you from said fact. Come to Melbourne and experience Australia’s best resturants, cafes, sport, culture and life. I may be biased, but we have been voted the ‘Most Liveable City In The World’… in 2002 and 2004, oh and in 2005. Oh, and BTW, you won’t get beat up on Melbourne’s and Victoria’s beaches.

We may be Mexicans… but that means that Sydney-siders are the Americans! Once again, the joke is on them! OLE!!!

As a young man growing up in a well-to-do private school environment, talk of porn captivated us. The legend of John Holmes was probably our favourite. Right up ther was a film called Animal Farm, and I’m not talking about the animated version of Orwell’s book. I’m not going into it, google it if you really want to know.

My reasons for bringing up porn and animals on the house? It seems six months ago, the state of Washington deemed it necessary to make bestiality a felony offence (?!?) after some guy died during intercourse with a horse. Completely bizzare if you ask me, but not too bizzare to 26yo Michael McPhail. Seems Mr McPhail found his inner Sir Mix-A-Lot when his dog walked by and couldn’t help but do what came (un)naturally. While the charges are alleged (lucky you’re presumed innocent in the USA), it seems rather a moot point given his wife took pictures with her camera phone.

Can you image the discussions when meeting your new daddy cellamte? How do you introduce yourself in the yard? I know I’m making it sound like he is guilty without having been tried but how do you refute pictorial evidence in this case? But can it be anymore shocking than the debate raging over at thestranger.com? While there is very little that surprises me when it comes to the human race, I just can’t believe anyone would seriously, or even jokingly, defend this behaviour. Whatever happened to buying a love doll?