When I last spent any real time in St Kilda and surrounding suburbs, it was all Greasy Joe’s and Big Mouth. I once sat in Greasy Joe’s eating breakfast and watching Tex Perkins consume a six pack of cheap looking beer at the tram stop in the time it took me to drink two flat whites and eat my bacon and eggs. Acland Street has changed, so further inland in Balaclava seemed a better option this last week.

Ugly Sister

263 Carlisle St, Balaclava

Firstly, at Ugly Sister you don’t have to book for breakfast. The breakfast menu is simple and runs all day (which means till 3 on Sundays as I found out at 3.15 on Sunday).

The clientele are mostly locals, so there is minimal posing. The coffee is excellent, as it should be considering their neighbour: Ugly Sister is across the road from Batch, which is owned and run by 2005 barista of the year Jason Chan.

I had poached eggs on toast and a flat white. The service was quick & friendly, the food was good, the coffee was excellent. Poached eggs can be massacred in the wrong hands, but here they were just the right consistency. No snotty dags, but not too hard either.

As you sit and enjoy their simple but impressive fair, your eyes will wander firstly over the diverse crowd then to the paintings on the walls. Apparently they are by Frank Malerba who owns Jackman Gallery and is the father of Ugly Sister chef/owner Andrew.

All in all I had an extremely pleasant experience, and have been back already. It was however, the first time I have ever been kicked out after closing time when I initially arrived for breakfast.