I was going to do a breakfast review, as I go out for the first meal of the day every Saturday and Sunday unless something bad has happened to prevent me from doing so. It’s a Melbourne institution, and one I have enjoyed for as long as I can remember.

Sitting down this morning however, I was forced to endure a phenomenon that is becoming more and more common, not only in the mornings, but at any dining out experience.

It involves children. Not all children are satanic creatures, placed on this earth to cause discomfort to others, but many parents seem to have spawned some really rotten little buggars who they can’t control at home, so they let them loose in a restaurant where 99% of people are trying to read the paper, nurse a hangover, or have a nice conversation.

High pitched screaming, racing around the whole establishment, nagging at the top of their voices, crying from boredom (not the kid’s fault) and being generally obnoxious was just this morning’s ordeal. Patrons were leaving, shaking their heads and complaining. The establishment (a very well known one in Carlisle Street St Kilda) was too busy for staff to stop and deal with it. When the evil family finally left, the seats and floor were littered with food and other debris that resembled the leavings of a bored dog.

But, is it fair to be so critical of noisy kids and their ignorant parents? I say yes!

But hear me out. In contrast to today’s outing, yesterday I stopped for a coffee and had a mother and infant on one side and a small family on the other. The infant was a bit grisly from teething pain. Fair enough! The mother was completely conscious of the people around them and despite a little noise, the experience was not unpleasant. On the other side of me was a little girl around 4-ish who coloured-in and didn’t make a noise (that I heard) the whole time I was there.

I think Tilley’s in Canberra has got it right with the notice (attached) they have at the restaurant and on their website. They haven’t banned children, rather they have set the expectation that, if your child disrupts others, you will be asked to leave. What a fantastic solution.

The whole issue comes down to appropriateness and consideration.

Is it appropriate to take your whining child to a breakfast spot clearly not designed for children such as those in East St Kilda eg. Las Chicas, The Wall, Batch etc. There are hot meals and boiling drinks being carried through narrow aisles between tables, and a child could (and does) cause all sorts of disruption, not to mention the potential for injury.

And consideration. Is it considerate to take a child to a place where they have nothing to do? The child suffers and as a result the people around you will also be affected.