Please gentle sirs, be kind to one who is english not good. I am from Australia but did move to London now and would like you to kindly send this, your item, to my godson who is studying the bible in Lagos, Nigeria.

During the past week I have had not one, not two, but three dodgy bids on a mobile phone I had for sale on eBay. They were all virtually (but not quite) the same and all had postal addresses in Lagos.

Two of the scammers sent very good fake PayPal receipts that looked almost like the real thing.

Here’s what to look for if you feel a bit uneasy about the activity on your item: (more…)

It seems the current investigation into police corruption in Victoria has nothing on the problems facing New Delhi. I like the idea of going to South East Asia or even the subcontinent just to see those cute little monkeys that steal your wallet. How can you get mad at something small and furry? We’ve all seen Disney’s Aladdin, right? How cool was Abu?

Well, it seems life with monkeys is getting a whole lot rougher in New Delhi, with gangs marauding the city and terrorising the population. Weekend violence saw one woman seriously injured and a couple dozen people requiring medical attention in what was called a ‘rampage’ by a gang of three or four monkeys. Hold on a minute. How many people are crammed into Delhi? Fourteen million at last count? And you can’t deal with three or four monkeys on a rampage? I can appreciate there are religious significances attached to monkeys in Hinduism, but surely you need to teach a vengeful god some manners from time to time?

I wonder if they have factions, like East-side and West-side? Perhaps they’re trying to move huge quantities of coke/speed and the people are making life difficult? Personally, if I were a monkey with a whole heap of drugs, I’d be trying to sell them to the people… that assumes I am a monkey and that I have a whole heap of drugs to sell, and that I would want to sell drugs. Not that I would because selling drugs is bad. Very bad. I’d rather sell bananas.

While the Delhi Metro train service ‘hired’ a larger monkey to scare off the little ones after a monkey boarded a train and scowled at passengers for three stops (a truly harrowing experience, I’m sure), it has become quite clear, to me at least, how the good people of Delhi can deal with their monkey menace: someone needs to go undercover to sow the seeds of discord. Or perhaps a gang member can be captured and turned under interrogation? If it could work in Goodfellas I see no reason for it not to work here. Regardless, if you happen to find yourself in Delhi on the wrong side of a monkey 4-on-1, check out this guide for dealing with monkey attacks.

We all know the old saying: One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

We’ve had the dude who traded a paper clip for a house, another guy who sold his speeding ticket on an online auction house for $NZ52. Faulty laptops, non existent laptops! Kieren Dyer, but who would want him anyway! And who could forget the whole “Jesus Toast” escapades! In the age of E-Bay, securing another man’s trash has become even easier.

Which brings us to Ozheek (not to be confused to our own Oz). Now it seems that Ozheek’s recycle bin on his computer was getting a little large. Now rather than empty the recycle bin, he thought WTF… I’ll try and sell it on E-Bay. I’ve included the link, here, for the auction in case you think that I’m having a lend! 14 bids later and Ozheek is $US50 richer. For the winner; music videos, cellphone “stuff” and yes, porn, is their treasure! As for me, I’m searching around my house for crap to sell right now…

Thanks to a BEEZHOUSE reader, Michael Philippe, for passing this one along.